What If We Experiment With An Irreverent (but very Relevant) Approach to Ho'oponopono?

 Trigger Warning About the F Word

This blog is going to be heavy with the F word. So if that bothers you or feels like violence to you...please stop reading here and return to your day with my blessing. If you're cool with the F word, rock on!

The Dream of RV Living and Campground Adventures

I was thinking about the possibility of going on a long RV adventure after I sell my house. I wanted to be able to keep teaching and playing with folks at the different campgrounds, so I was thinking of what to offer that would be fun and helpful. I started by remembering all the fun interactive songs and skits we used to teach at LA County Outdoor Science School campfire nights with the fifth and sixth grade students who came up from the city for a week of science in the mountains. 

I was thinking of making a program and offering it to campgrounds...where I either teach their staff how to lead the songs or I would lead them when I was camped at their location. That felt really fun and really energizing. Alas, it did not feel fully aligned with my purpose here in this lifetime. 

Alignment with My Own Truth and Purpose

To bring my mission of helping people feel safe being who they are and becoming who they most want to be, I began to think about offering walks or hikes where I teach meditation, journaling, tapping, and other helpful things for reducing stress and creating more joy in life. But it seemed a little too quiet and not very original or captivating enough for folks to leave their campers or tents to join me. 

Then it hit me! Teach these topics in a fun interactive sing song-y way! Yes! That's closer to what feels right. But it didn't feel 100%. I started thinking through each of my main content topics for my trainings...maybe What If questions and answers could be made into direct response songs? Then I remembered Ho'oponopono...and I thought the simple phrases would be great for call and response songs. 

But then. THEN. Then I thought of how to REALLY own it. How to make Ho'oponopono truly Jenn-style. 

An Aside: A Little History of Long Distance Love and Friendship

In 2014, I was a newly certified Infinite Possibilities (IP) Trainer looking at the profiles of other trainers. I discovered the amazing Dena Gould in Denver, Colorado who was already offering a combination of what I was thinking would be fab. She was using tapping along with her intuitive gifts and serving with an IP mindset/lens. Magic! I reached out to her for advice and we had a lovely online meeting. I can't remember how long after that, I got a random email from her telling me something that I couldn't believe at first. She said, "I fucking love you!" I couldn't believe it because I couldn't understand how someone I barely knew could say such a thing. Since then, I've strengthened my own self-love skills and deepened my relationship with Dena. And now we fucking love each other from a distance. Our shorthand for I Fucking Love You is IFLY!!

Where the Power Is

Now that I can allow myself to feel it and believe it, I find that the statement "I fucking love you!" fills me with joy, connection, and a little happy surprise. I feel it in my heart and it shakes my brain up enough to let my heart release it throughout my body. Just saying it, I feel more powerfully loved and more powerfully loving than I ever have in my life. Stop now and try it! Say, "I fucking love you!" while looking in the mirror. How's that feel? 

Back To the Ho'oponopono Inspiration...

Have you figured out where I'm going with this? If you know the four phrases of the Ho'oponopono prayer, you may have guessed that I like to switch it up...Now, my first phrase is "I fucking love you" instead of just "I love you." The second phrase has shifted from "I'm sorry" to "I'm so fucking sorry!" Moving on...the third phrase goes from "Please forgive me." to "Please forgive me - I really fucked up!" And finally, "Thank you" becomes "I'm so fucking grateful!"

I'm using it for myself already and I fucking love how it feels. I feel the forgiveness process through my whole body: my brain stands down and my heart takes over, connecting to my spirit/soul to bring the message Home. 

I, of course, use it with tapping. So I'm tapping all those statements, talking out the issue that I feel needs forgiveness (self forgiveness, other person forgiveness, or even situational forgiveness). I taught it, with the tapping, to some of our Forgiveness Experiment participants in May and they felt the power in the way it comes through. One participant also said it allows them to bring some of the anger into the process as you are healing it…I agree!

How I Choose to Use Forgiveness

I use forgiveness in different ways - sometimes I'm forgiving a different version of myself, one who didn't hold me close and love me when I needed it most so I formed defense mechanisms that helped me survive. But some of those mechanisms are kind of fucked up in some ways, so I'm letting them go with this Fucking Forgiveness Process. Other times, I'm forgiving myself for not seeing a truth in a situation...for being afraid or resentful or whatever...and the forgiveness brings me to the truth. Other times, I'm forgiving someone else for harming me in some way...and the forgiveness brings me to compassion and acceptance.

The key is that I get to decide who I want to forgive and which lens/approach is most helpful. Then I can use either the more common prayer language, the ACIM (A Course In Miracles) language suggested by Seema Khaneja in her book Physician, Heal Thyself,  or I can ramp it up and use my Fucking Forgiveness (IFLY!) approach. 

The Path Doesn't Lead Where You Expect It

When I created this new approach, I was trying to figure out how to be of service and have fun while visiting different campgrounds. What I ended up with is probably not going to work in public campground settings. But I am so grateful for the process that led me to this new approach because it is already changing my life...without ever packing up the car for camping! 

As often happens with me, this path led me back into myself, and into an even more personal and effective approach to healing for myself. Since most things that are good for me are often also good for folks around me, I'm going to trust that this blog will be helpful to you in some way - whether you use the thought process of how I found the new forgiveness approach as you develop something personal for yourself or you simply benefit from using this version of Ho'oponopono. 

Invitation!

If you want to learn more about the IFLY process, you can sign up for the forgiveness experiment that I co-lead with Seema Khaneja. I'll be adding a few events later this summer to share the IFLY prayer approach more extensively. I'm excited to see if/how it helps you, too! And remember, I fucking love all you are and all you are doing to become who you most want to be in this world! 

PLEASE NOTE:  I do not have formal training in the Ho'oponopono process. I am sharing this with you so you can see how I modified something to fit me better. You are also welcome to modify my modification and see how it shifts things for you! I also highly recommend you learn more about the traditional Ho'oponopono methods and approaches by reading books such as Jonathan Hammond's The Shaman's Mind: Huna Wisdom to Change Your Life and watching videos/researching more information about Dr. Hew Len (here's a good series you might enjoy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OL972JihAmg) and others who have shared this valuable process with the world. I am deeply grateful to them and to you for wanting to create more peace for all of us.

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